The Hidden Emotional Cost

Beyond biology, something else happens. Emotional distance creeps in at the exact time when closeness is needed most.

Many partners feel helpless watching their loved one go through treatment.

They want to be strong. To be the positive one. The rock.

But inside, they’re anxious too.

They’re dealing with their own fears. What if I’m the cause? What if I can’t give her this? What if nothing works?

When both partners carry silent stress but don’t share it, communication breaks down.

Resentment builds.

Connection, the very foundation you need for this journey, begins to crack.

Right when you need teamwork most.

This is why I believe deeply in treating fertility as a couple’s journey. Not just a woman’s challenge.

Because energetically, emotionally, and biologically, you’re in this together.

And healing works best when both of you feel supported.

Simple Practices That Build Strength Together

The beautiful thing is, managing stress together doesn’t require hours of therapy or complicated plans.

Sometimes the simplest practices create the biggest shifts.

Breathe together. Even five minutes of box breathing before bed can lower stress hormones in both partners. Breathe in for four counts. Hold for four. Breathe out for four. Hold for four. It’s not just relaxation. It’s creating a shared moment of calm.

Reframe together. When anxiety spirals, pause and reframe the thought as a team. Instead of “What if this doesn’t work?” try “We’re giving this our best chance. That’s all we can do.” Words matter. They shape your reality.

Connect daily. One small gratitude practice can change your entire home’s emotional tone. Before sleep, share one thing you appreciate about each other that day. It might feel simple. But it builds strength, deepens your bond, and reminds you why you started this journey.

I’ve watched couples transform when the male partner begins doing visualisations alongside his wife. Not just during embryo transfer, but daily.

When he holds the intention, Yes, this will happen. I believe in us.

That energy, that conviction, it matters enormously.

I remember one couple where the husband was so hopeful. So unwavering in his faith. Even when the odds seemed impossible, just two eggs and very low AMH, he kept saying, “It will happen.”

When I told them we had two embryos to transfer, he immediately asked, “What if both take?”

His wife was still processing the positive news. But he was already picturing twins!

Those babies are three years old now.